Death and Ninjas
by chaos-theultim8-order
Summary: continuation of Death and Enchiladas. Dying once was enough for most. As long as we stay out of Stephen King all will be well.  some other mentions such as mass effect but mainly it sticks with Naruto..


Alixe Carpenter

Storm Stipe

Just the Beginning rewrite

May 2011

Malorie's Diary

Dear Diary, 5 days dead

So I have to write this diary. It's supposed to help me keep my sanity. Being dead isn't too good for one's mental stability, if you have received the afterlife I got. That's what Saren said. He is a turian, which is a type of alien that from the Mass Effect reality, his face kind of looks like a cat who ran into a wall, if you ignore the mandibles, and the 'hair' spikes that lie on top of his head poking out of the back. He is supposed to be my guide since he died and got the same problem I have.

Unfortunately I died again, and I kind of lost him. When I first died, from falling down the stairs at my grandmothers, I thought it was a dream. I mean, who would expect to be in a world where superman was real. But I quickly realized that wasn't true. I mean who would dream about being broke homeless and getting weird powers. It was as painful as going through high school and that's if I multiplied it by infinity. I can talk to the death, see the future and, to steal the most annoying famous line to unfortunately exist, I see dead people. I am thankful I didn't get x-ray vision. Clark told me when he first got it he couldn't control it and saw everyone naked. This included his obese forty year old second grade teacher. She had a rash. He said he was thankful when he went blind for a week. (Insert hysterical laughter here) Hmm. Maybe Saren was right. I need to work on keeping my mind stable. That would be a first, for me.

Most people when they die go to a form of afterlife of their religion or return to their world in another form. In most cases this is true. Some, like me, haven't done enough in their last life and go through different types of lives to make up for their original one. Now having a life in a different world may seem like a form of afterlife but it isn't. Every world that was created in novels, movies, games and so forth in the dead person's original world, created another afterlife for that person. So, you can die, again, and end up in another new world. Saren said that you can end up in any world that you were aware existed at any point of your life. Let me tell you diary, I am extremely regretful of reading or watching anything by Stephen King. And I hope I don't get hit by a car, again, or in this case eaten by a rat. I don't want the chance of ending up there!

Oops I forgot to mention. I am no longer in Superman's world. I got hit by the car that Lex called for me to get to a job interview. Needless to say I made it to the morgue instead. Now I only have to worry about giant rats, spells, vampires, and trolls. Stupid medieval fantasy games, ruin my fantasy of how cool they were. I used to love the thought of a place so simple, that had magic. If I was actually dreaming I would love it, but since it is me; I am trying avoid leaving the building. I actually got a job right away here. Squee! Thank the Nine for low literacy rates!

The Nine, just so I remember later, are the deities of the Oblivion game, which I am in now. This will be good to know after I go crazy. Hmm maybe I didn't die and I just went crazy. I did see my father's brain matter after all. Maybe I didn't really go to my own funeral. If that is true, please someone help me! But the pain here is the same in my reality, might as well keep up the act. Damn. At least I don't remember the animators putting enough detail as to put bugs in this world. Spiders, shudders, enough said.

But there are Oblivion gates popping up everywhere. Oblivion gates are oval rings made of stone that seem to have a wall of fire filling it. If one goes through it I imagine people from my world would call it hell instead of oblivion. Hmm. Maybe oblivion is a form of hell. The scamps sure look like a demon, or house elf from the Harry Potter world. I am still debating that one.

I have been given on boon by god, who I am still convinced, is a thirteen year old boy and we are his version of WoW. This afterlife thingy is my case and point! Anyway, I am glad that I am not the prophesied character because I so would have died back when the rats attacked. I swear they are bigger than the wolves. Sure I am known as Moira the Coward, but hey better than Stephen King.

I am so not caring for how stories need conflict! I mean really, my big hope was eternal nothing. Maybe sleep forever. Or maybe lose that stupid virginity. Big sigh. Yes Diary I died a virgin. I spent way too much time with my nose in a book and now I am dead and still haven't lost it. Though in my defense it seems, here, no one but me is educated about STDs and there is no such thing as condoms, and the birth control is a root that can double as a poison. Goodie. Note Sarcasm.

You know what Diary I think I may have to risk Stephen King. I mean I would probably just die again real soon anyway. But if I get lucky I would end up in Saren's world of Mass Effect, or Harry Potter. Sure there is a war and all but they have to have better birth control, and Midol. Sweet precious Midol, how I miss thee. Hmm well I guess if I am going to die here it is going to be spectacular and hero like. Not going to be difficult since I work at the Cloud Ruler Temple as a scribe. You know where they hide the last heir to the throne, the only one to stop the oblivion gates for good? Ah I see a Red Dawn assassin, oh my with an Oblivion gate. Will talk again soon Diary. Hopefully, I wish myself good luck.

The Former Miss Malorie, currently and soon to be former, Moira the Coward.

Dear Diary, 7 days dead

Well I died, and failed to save everyone. Stupid blue men in loin clothes, I almost survived! Damn my short attention span! I didn't end up in Mass Effect, but they have Midol, and birth control. The sad fact is I don't need it at the moment anyway. Pouts. I recently learned that your age and looks can change with new worlds. This is a first for me. Stupid Saren, doesn't tell me things I need to know. I am in a version of Naruto, a fanfiction one since I couldn't afford the show or manga's. I befriended Naruto, yay ramen! We are going to join the academy together in a month.

Just for memory purposes Naruto is a Jinjuriki, which is a human with one of the tailed demons (more tails more power max is nine tails), the demons are in animal form, not by Christian tradition but more Asian. The reason they are sealed inside children is because no one can kill a demon, villagers don't understand that so Naruto is still treated shitty. Though he is the only thing keeping the demon away and the stupid villagers alive, really he is a hero. Idiots

Naruto's world is kinda like our world but more ecofriendly, and there are wars, fought by ninjas. They use chakra, the spiritual energy in our bodies, to control your every move and even control elements. Mine is water, in all its forms. There are different lands here that are based on elements. Though we are currently in the land of fire we are surrounded by woodland, unlike Suna which was created in a dessert oasis. I am excited to meet Gaara kun! Squee. The land of mist is similar to England, it is pretty self-explanatory, they are the only ones that don't have a ninja village though. And ice is a lot like home, Wisconsin in the winter. Still don't want to go there either way.

Well diary, I must confess, I recently had a break down. Thus it takes me two days to write to you. Let's see you try not freaking out when you realize that when you get younger you may not need birth control or Midol _now,_ but you will be going through puberty, _again_! That also means that all that maturity that took me years to acquire is now buried in me, deeply, very deeply. So don't freak if I sound like an adolescent. Cuz I am. Besides that, my powers are still intact, despite the changes. I still see death, talk to spirits, and dream about the future. The spirit one is fun though. In this world, they appear in animal form, like the demons, so it's really cute, and stuff.

To explain my reasons on why I am going to be a shinobi, also known as a ninja, instead of a 'safe' civilian; I figured if I learn to be a ninja I can amount to more in this life than I did in the others, and maybe have a normal afterlife. I guess I was always embarrassed about how little I did in my original life but was too scared to change that fact. That and I am skinny now! No way am I going to ruin that.

I have found another silver lining to this death! Shiny silver not as bad or gaudy as gold its better even. Sorry, attention span. I am so thankful to automatically know how to speak and read the different languages of this world. It was a very nice surprise, I suck at learning Spanish, I dread how I would learn an Asian language. In fact, I am sort of tutoring Naruto, who I forgot to mention is a blonde who has three scars on each cheek that look like whiskers with a tan models would sell their soul for, at the moment. I always like helping others with reading and writing. Probably because it was one of the things I did do while alive. Naruto has been teaching me how to do some of his pranks, which is fun and the Kage the name of the ruler of the village, an ancient man that survives out of spite I swear, has been helping us both with chakra control. It is all working out well.

Ja ne

The Former Miss Malorie, the current Utsukushii Ryū aka Beautiful Dragon. (Naruto renamed me.)

Diary, 67 days dead

Sorry I haven't written in a while. Something's don't change even after, well you know. School work, easily misplacing valuable-must-not-lose items, pranks, the usual. The teachers here must think we are stupid or something, I swear. They have been lying to Naruto and I, I know this because unlike Naruto, I actually understand what we read and have to reeducate him back home. It is kind of fun, pissing off the teachers. (Evil chuckle here) Kage-man is letting us borrow more and more scrolls now that we are in the academy. Iruka is being real helpful for a teacher also known as sensei. He is not an ass. And like Naruto, I am okay with actually saying it, or in my case graffiti it over the entire academy building. Still haven't got caught for that one and Naruto has a solid alibi. Muwahaha. I am so happy now that I actually do my evil genius plans! No more holding back for me!

Weeee. Ugh dizzy. Note to self ramen, plus spinny chairs, plus sixty pixie six, equals bad idea.

Currently Utsukushii Ryū aka Beautiful Dragon

Dear Diary, long time dead

Wow I forgot about you (looks at previous entry) again apparently. Hmm. I am way too good at hiding things if it took me moving out to find you. I guess it is obvious I haven't died again. Otherwise I would have never written again. I passed the academy, turned 16. I even got on the same team as Naruto. I had the highest scores, the third time. I just couldn't make myself graduate without Naruto. He is like a brother to me.

Unsurprisingly, to me anyway, our Jounin sensei is Hatake Kakashi. Sasuke is typical emo, with a duck butt for the back of his blue black hair is our third teammate. His stick up the butt attitude is annoying. Kakashi looks old for a Jounin Sensei, must be because of his gravity deifying hair is silver. Though no one knows his age, I think, I mean all any one sees of his face is his right eye because of face mask and hitae, headband with our village symbol in the middle on square plate, covering it. Now that Kakashi is our teacher it is much easier to get a hold of certain books that have caught my attention. I can um err borrow from my, kind, sensei. Snickers. He doesn't really like it. He can't figure if Sasuke or Naruto takes them. I think he would have an aneurysm if he actually figured it out who stole his precious porn.

We can't have that. Then we wouldn't get any missions. If we don't get missions then Naru-chan and I would have to move back into the damn shoe box apartment. Now that puberty has returned, I refuse to share with Naruto. That boy can smell way too much! It could be worse though. It could be the stick in the ass Uchilla who had the super nose. Diary the best way to scare Sasuke is to use my little power I got when I first died and convince death to show a ghostly figure of himself when we talk and only Sasuke can see us. I swear he pissed himself. (Snickers)

Well since I don't want to lose you again I guess I should just keep you on my person. Safest place to be is with a shinobi, right? Sure I am just a genin, the lowest ninja rank, but at least I am not a civilian. Not anymore!

Ja ne!

Utsukushii Ryū

Diary, still dead…

Hey Diary, I just got back from a cat rescuing, again. Poor thing, if I was that cat with that thing that is known as its owner, I would try to stay in the trees too. No matter how hard it rained, or how many bolts of lightning hit me.

Kakashi sensei told us we get to get out of the village tomorrow early. He told us to meet at six. So I can get there at eight. No point in getting there too much before the sensei. I get more sleep that way. That and Naruto and Sasuke's faces are always hilarious when I get there right before it is noticed that I am late. Kee Hee Naruto is giving me a glare. Guess I shouldn't narrate what I write. Oh well, too late now.

Excited for tomorrow!

Ryu


End file.
